BITE
QUIZ
QUESTIONS
1. Would you describe yourself as.
a) Very tidy.
b) Quite tidy.
c) A bit of a slob.
d) The sort of person who uses yesterday's
knickers as an improvised ashtray.
2. What is your attitude towards
money?
a) Bling bling! It's there to be spent.
b) It's good to splash it round, but you've
got to be a bit careful.
c) You should save most of your income
for a rainy day.
d) Even the moths in my wallet have
moths.
3. My immediate family are.
a) To be cherished, and seen as much as
possible.
b) Quite dear to me, and to be seen when
I can.
c) Only to be seen at weddings and funerals.
d) To be avoided whenever possible.
4. Politically speaking, I regard
myself as…
a) Right wing.
b) Moderate.
c) Left wing.
d) Monster raving loony.
5. Children are…
a) A precious gift from the heavens. You
can't have too many.
b) Something I definitely want to have.
c) Something I might want some day –
but not very soon.
d) Horrible little beasts who completely
take over your life, drive you mad, and
trample jam into the carpet.
6. Designer clothes are…
a) Well worth the money, as they are
works of art in their own right.
b) A bit expensive, but something to be
bought occasionally.
c) Something that should only be bought
on a very special occasion.
d) Primark's good enough for me.
7. I enjoy sex…
a) More than once a day.
b) Once a week.
c) Once a month.
d) Every time Halley's comet appears.
8. I regard my sense of humour
as…
a) Sophisticated.
b) Well-developed.
c) Earthy.
d) Childishly vulgar.
9. As far as movies go, I like…
a) Erudite foreign films with subtitles.
b) Historical epics, that I think I can learn
something from.
c) Well-made Hollywood blockbusters.
d) The sort of films where Jackie Chan
slips on a banana skin and falls down a
manhole, while forty-seven police cars
explode and Halle Berry does a
striptease.
10. The most important person in
my life is…
a) Me.
b) My partner.
c) My best friend.
d) My invisible imaginary friend Mr.
Spengler, the space-dolphin.
11. When it comes to my job,
I am…
a) Hard-working and diligent to a fault.
b) Harder working than most.
c) Frankly lax.
d) Job?
12. What is your attitude towards
pets?
a) I love them all. I want to get three dogs,
four cats, two budgies, nineteen ham-
sters, twenty-three goldfish, and a pony.
And a goat.
b) I wouldn't mind having a cat or dog.
c) I quite like them, but I couldn't eat a
whole one.
d) They are disgusting vermin that should
be wiped out.
13. What is your ideal night out?
a) A meal in an expensive restaurant, fol-
lowed by a drink in a wine bar, and the
rest of the evening bopping away in
ChinaWhite.
b) A meal in an inexpensive but cosy
restaurant, followed by a drink in the
pub.
c) A meal in Pizza Hut, followed by a bot-
tle of extra strong cider drunk outside
MFI.
d) I prefer to stay in, eating pickled onions
from the jar and watching the telly.
14. What do you think of Sport on
TV?
a) I watch football, cricket, snooker, darts,
the Grand Prix, ice hockey, boxing,
wrestling, pro-celebrity donkey-juggling,
and anything else.
b) I'll watch the football if it's something
exciting like the FA cup.
c) I once watched the synchronised swim-
ming.
d) I'd rather be torn apart by wild horses
than watch one second of it.
ANSWERTHE FOLLOWING
QUESTIONS, GETYOUR
PARTNER TO DOTHE SAME,
AND FIND OUT EXACTLY
HOW COMPATIBLEYOU
ARE.AND NO LYING, BOYS!